Essay

What It Was, What It Is

By: Pat LaPointe,

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I was looking through some messages found in fortune cookies when this one really resonated with me: “Relish the transitions in your life- they will happen anyway.” That one pretty much sums up the best way to handle changes in our lives. (to explain why I was going through fortune cookies would take a lot more space).
I think what is implied here is the idea of accepting transitions or change. For most of us, accepting some changes has been difficult. Changes in our health, the health of someone close to us or a family member’s death can be particularly difficult for us. Many of us have experienced having a family member with a terminal illness. This requires acceptance of both the illness and its consequence, death. Yet even though we believe that we should have been prepared, often this outcome is most difficult to accept.
Many of us have been faced with how our lives changed due to a divorce. In some ways this is harder to accept than death. A person that, at least at one time in our lives, we had bonded with and now he is “gone”. But not really. It is more difficult in the sense that he lives on, as do we, just not together. It doesn’t matter who wanted to terminate the marriage, both will have to accept the transition from “we” to “me”.
And what about what used to be referred to as “empty nest” , a time when all of our children have left home. There are at least two transitions to be accepted at this time. As women we will need to shift our priorities from children and family first to who we are as individuals. For some it may be the first real opportunity to define ourselves. We also transition into a new relationship with our spouses. Much of the Mom and Dad roles now become the He and Me relationship, possibly for the first time in our marriages.
Of course there are many other transitions in our lives: job change, retirement, down-sizing our homes. This month let’s think about the transitions we have experienced. Have you “relished” them as the fortune said? How have you handled them? Are there some that as yet you haven’t accepted? If so, why not? What steps will you take toward acceptance?
Hristina Keranova’s essay,” Rough Ground” talks about a transition to a new culture. Nancilynn Saylor, in her essay “ June 10”, tells us about her journey to accepting her son’s death.

Changes In Life

Becoming the woman you were meant to be

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