Essay

Words Along The Way

By: Judy Hawkinson,

0 comments

Are you the person you want to be? Have you allowed unconscious choices, past experiences, other people’s “shoulds” to determine your present lifestyle? If you would like to become the one you are meant to be, you have the power within you to discover your True Self. The two most difficult decisions you must make are , “Do I really want to change?” and “What do I have to do to accomplish this change?” If you can’t answer these two questions affirmatively, the words that follow may not be relevant at this time, but I hope they will linger in your mind until you are ready for them.
Words describe. Words inspire. Words hurt. Words shape us. Have you stopped to think how words have shaped who you are today? Or have you merely accepted, “This is me.” Are you comfortable and confident in your present state? As a child were your dreams and plans for your future different from where you are today?
Due to your ethnic, cultural, religious background, do you think and act in ways that are expected of you? Yet, you feel conflicted, knowing things are not quite right? Because you have heard certain words describe you and your behaviors, are you unconsciously living your life as others’ expect you to?
By allowing other’s words to define you and shape your life’s journey, you are not being true to yourself. As human beings, we seek out people and events that make us happy. This is the conundrum of human existence: we cannot be happy by only living up to others’ expectations. Yet many of us never realize what causes our unfulfilled and unhappy lives. Many of us expect to be content all the time. When an illness, an unachieved goal or separation from someone we love happens, we may become victims of the situation. As victims, everything negative becomes personified.
We have become who we are today due to every experience of our lives that brought us to the present moment. Life randomly gives us many opportunities to find our True Selves: either from a crisis or a fulfillment of our hopes and dreams. But many of us ignore this chance for self-growth and remain stuck within a shell created by others’ words. Since we accept our good fortune without question, we look at a crisis situation very differently. We often cry and complain about our misfortunes instead of looking at them as a chance to learn and grow…an opportunity for self-knowledge is not taken.
As children, the words of fairy tales may have led us to believe that our life’s journey would be everything we desired. If we still believe in fairy tales as adults, whether consciously or not, we feel that life isn’t fair or that we’ve been singled out to suffer. When a tragedy strikes, do you think, “Why me?”
Words begin as thoughts that lead to feelings and subsequently to actions. To become the person you want to be, it is necessary to learn how to change your thoughts so that your feelings, words and actions change. No one can do this for you. You have to want to change. Begin by questioning your present lifestyle. If you have lived by others’ words and expectations, now is the time to make conscious choices to live the life you want. Self-discovery is a difficult process that takes time and commitment and is ongoing. But the most important thing to remember is that you have the power to change, a power that is yours and not given to you by anyone else.
Our next contributor, Barbara Ayars is a colleague and one of my writing “sisters”. In her piece “Word Damage”, she provides a perfect example of how others’ words can harm us, but can also lift us up and help us to see ourselves in new, more positive ways.

Changes In Life

Becoming the woman you were meant to be

Menu

Newsletters

Essays

Sites for Women Writers