Essay

What It Was, What It Is

By: Pat LaPointe,

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I hope you all had a chance to check out the sites I mentioned in the special edition of Changes In Life last month. If you missed it, check out the archives. Those sites offer an enormous amount of opportunities for writers, especially beginning writers.
“The penalty for being loyally accepted for the whole of your life is that you must always stay what you were.” Nuala O’Faolain
“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt
When I came upon these quotes I realized they were talking about change. O’Faolain is referring to the outcome of always being loyal to what others want. This gives us little opportunity to change, little opportunity to not only know ourselves better, but to behave accordingly. Parents, children, spouses, friends and other relations implicitly or explicitly impose their expectations on us. If we always accept these expectations and behave within the limits of what they desire, we never grow.
It takes courage to change, to accept other aspects of what we are, especially if the change will disturb others. This is where the quote from Eleanor Roosevelt comes into play. She states, with absolute certainty, that we “must do the thing” we think we cannot do.
As women, we are relationship oriented. We were raised to please others. Some of us are moving away from that perspective, others are still struggling. I know of one woman who has demonstrated excellence and gained much respect for her work in her current field. She is successful. But, she’s not happy. Something is not resonating in her spirit, her soul. Her work, her current life is incongruent with what she feels to be her true self, her purpose in life. She recently made the courageous decision to follow her instincts, to move in the direction of her desires. Both O’Faolain and Roosevelt would be proud.
This month let’s do an intense review of our beliefs, attitudes and behaviors. Where did they come from? Do they resonate with how you see yourself? Or do you feel anxiety when in engage in any of them? Do you often wonder how you came to them? Is it time to change them or delete them from your life? If you feel that what you think and do are incongruent with who you believe you are, why not take Eleanor Roosevelt’s suggestion and “do the thing you think you cannot do”, and cultivate your true self?
Tamra Wilson’s Essay “Honey, Sweetie, Dearie” offers an honest but humorous reminder of how we are greeted by others as we age. You can learn more about Tamra on her website: http://tamrawilson.com

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